ron white if you quit listening i'll shut up transcriptopal character analysis there there

ron white if you quit listening i'll shut up transcriptdavid w carter high school yearbook

And theres never anybody there. Baby goose pussy lips makes wagyu beef taste like boot leather. His answers are crass. I understand how unnecessary that was. My cousin Ray, who Ive talked about on stage before, hes a real guy, he only eats at the Golden Corral because my cousin Ray only dates huge women. Trying to make this funny, sell some comedy tickets in a land where you dont play my shit. Im better at oral sex than Ive ever been and I think its just because Im older and Im just more patient than I was when I was young, because cause now Ill lay there for hours and let you do your thing. I hope you guys enjoyed it. I ordered the movie. And right before I went on stage, I was in the green room of the main room, and they came over there and they said, Ron, they need you in the OR. I never thought anybody would fucking say that, you know? Maybe a salad and a sandwich. And Ill tell you why I didnt have a problem with it, cause I thought the number of people beating off to my image was zero. Rejuvenate your vagina. Thanks for playing our game. While TVs sitcom rednecks encountered cute culture clashes with their posh new neighbors, White regales us with how he has come to respect and almost admire the gay men in the West Hollywood bars near his home. [cheering and applause] When Jeff got big enough to take somebody with him, he took me with him, which was an amazingly gracious thing for Jeff to do for me. the Terms and Policies, and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. The image is an example of a ticket confirmation email that AMC sent you when you purchased your ticket. You imagine how I think fucking now what Id do to you. It happened a long time ago, which doesnt fucking matter. Whats the problem? I said, I ordered a movie, it said, Please enjoy your feature film, but nothing came on the TV. She goes, What did you order? Cast Away. You dont have to kill the baby duck to get the pussy lips off of it. Profane. 'Succession' Season 4 Episode 6 Recap: "Living+", 'Succession': Tom and Shiv's "Bitey" Game is the Horniest, Most Effed Up Thing Theyve Done Yet. No other fucking animal does this. My platform was a little different than our presidents platform. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Powered by Reelgood Since the Blue Collar Comedy Tour first started in 2000, Texas native Ron White has always stood apart from. And the guys over there still think theyre hot. Um, Im from a very, very small dusty town in northwest Texas, and I grew up in this little bitty house that was built by my father and my grandfather the year I was born, 1956. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'Ll Shut Up (2018) - Full Transcript And the punchline of that story is, I come back to the States, when I get back to the States, my assistant goes, Ron, did you hear that John Mayhew died? And Im like, John Mayhew Why do I know that name? Its your ex-wifes divorce lawyer. [laughing quietly] Oh, I hated that motherfucker. I wouldnt and Ill tell you why. Director Tom Forrest Writer Ron White Star Ron White Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up - Netflix Because this dick wont suck itself. Even when he forgets a line he's funny, he's never panicking, on the contrary he'll make it even funnier. Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up She was trash drunk on red wine. We decided to break it up, and Vegas will make you horny if you let it. Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Three weeks ago, my wife and I went to New York City, and we went to a gay wedding, and it was a man marrying a woman, [laughing] but it was the gayest fucking thing Ive ever seen. These two comics dont have any money. And I know that a gold star lesbian is a woman whos never had any dick not once ever in her life, and Ive never had any dick not once ever in my life. You know, they do that now. In a dystopian future devastated by air pollution, the survival of humanity depends on the Black Knights and theyre far from your average deliverymen. But let me tell you something, folks. I keep a salt shaker by the side of the bed. Downloads only available on ad-free plans. Now I live in Beverly Hills in a house my wife and I just built, and I was doing an interview the other day, and this guy asked me, Has it changed you? Ill get some money. [audience whooping] Looked like somebody had stretched a Looked like somebody had stretched a rubber band over a gigantic head of cauliflower. We dont even want it. 'If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up': Ron White's Netflix special Go behind the scenes of Netflix TV shows and movies, see what's coming soon and watch bonus videos on, Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (Teaser), Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (Trailer). I really do. Or didnt use to, anyhow. A Tourists Guide to Love Filming Locations: Where Was the Rachael Leigh Cook Movie Filmed? Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. RON WHITE: IF YOU QUIT LISTENING, I'LL SHUT UP | Crtica | Stand Up You fucking idiot. [Ron White] You ever take a crap so big your pants fit better? JOIN NOW Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Do you have any advice, Mr. White? Now, Id just got off the ugliest phone call Ive ever had with my wife, and it was about that house, and part of that house was gonna be a rehearsal space for her band, and while I was shooting a pilot in Vancouver, it turned into a 24-track recording studio. Dont drink and drive. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up streaming Great big old, big old, big uns. He always believed in my talent, but not my work ethic. Thats why. And it turns out, theyve been snipping the pussy lips off of baby ducks in Saudi Arabia for 1,500 years and just throwing them in a river, and the cook from the Four Seasons went there and saw this amazing waste of baby duck pussy lips, and just started thinking, you know, Fuck Tacos! PETA hates it. Thats what kind of person I am right there, 12 years old. If you can beat me at darts, you can take me to fucking jail, how about that? Filming Locations for the Disney+ Movie, Alexander Molony Is the Perfect Blend of Charming and Naive in Disney+s Peter Pan & Wendy, What Does "Doderick Macht Frei" on 'Succession' Mean? Ill walk back. Just lunch. Coming Soon. Young Queen Charlotte's marriage to King George of England sparks an epic love story and transforms high society in this "Bridgerton" universe prequel. And every year SiriusXM does a live broadcast from there. I mean, I wet the bed all the fucking time and I just hated myself for it. Not because they try to say something funny. [silly voice] Just lunch and a blowjob! Lady in the first show goes, Whats in it for the woman? Im like, Lunch. [high-pitched] Its just lunch. Copyright Fandango. And not the fuzzy sweater, lovable slurring kind of drunk uncle, either. Sean L. McCarthy works the comedy beat for his own digital newspaper,The Comics Comic; before that, for actual newspapers. The newest one thats not very new, but its the newest one. In a dystopian future devastated by air pollution, the survival of humanity depends on the Black Knights and theyre far from your average deliverymen. Whats he doing? It's Me, Margaret' Streaming on HBO Max or Netflix? Sign in to rate and Watchlist for personalized recommendations. I left everything in my room, and I tell the guy, Listen, I got to go back to the hotel. I only have the room key. I go back up to the room and shes passed out, in this negligee, and shes fucking gorgeous. I have no idea what Id do if I walked out and somebody was there, Id be like [yawning] [click] Oh, hey. I can I got to get this right for the special. Terms and Policies [squawk] Bites me on the fucking leg. You go anywhere in West Hollywood, theres these gigantic gay mens clubs with these huge patios. One of these treatments is a thing called anal bleaching. A goose is the only animal on the planet could take a jetliner out of the fucking sky and make it land on the Hudson River. He brought one to Vegas last year, and I saw her by the swimming pool in a two-piece bathing suit, and I cant jack the fucking memory out of my goddamn skull. Just laying there dead, cause it died somewhere? Link to Are You There God? Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: 18+ | 1h 3m | Stand-Up Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. I have sleep apnea, which keeps my wife awake. I know theyre perfectly content to live the way they do. They all look like fucking tents. Its a nickel for a hundred of em. In the wake of her prom scandal, Princess Margrethe longs for normalcy as she struggles to maintain her perfect facade while dealing with family drama. Just getting her done, and He wasnt there, but the three of us were. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up White I was always going to tell you if I ever met you that when my father was alive, you were his favorite comedian by far. I said, Thank you very much for telling me that, man. Nonbinary 'Yellowjackets' Star Liv Hewson Is Sitting out of Emmy Season Over Gendered Categories, 'Yellowjackets' Season 2 Episode 5 Recap: Digging the Antler Queen, Drew Barrymore Admits She's "Not Sure" She's "Drawn to the Manscaper" on 'The Drew Barrymore Show': "I Love Funk", Drew Barrymore Opens up About Up Close and Personal Interview Style: "I Feel This Magnetic Pull", Why Isn't 'The Drew Barrymore Show' on Today? Yeah! Thats all. These are two broke fucking fingers. Cause were scared to fucking death of geese. 6:01, gets there. But oddly enough, I do have a suggestion for this. But on the way, they must confront what it means to be different. Or any. Drunk driving. Lets do a big shot of tequila, you snort some cocaine off my dick and fuck me right up the butt. And they march off to the bathroom and do exactly that, exactly then, and the reason they can is theres not a woman there to go, Well, thats morally wrong and bathrooms arent near clean enough to butt-fuck in. Oh, they beg to differ. I said, Let me go talk to her, so I go up to the room. No. You got to quit eating them babies, maam. But I know if I wake her up trying to have sex with her, shell hit me in the face with a bucket of nickels I just spotted on the nightstand. See production, box office & company info, Blue Collar Comedy Tour: One for the Road, The Hall: Honoring the Greats of Stand-Up, : , . Weve tried everything that there is. [whistling] Im on break. I dont give a shit. Im like, What do I even do? Now, I think its a little strange that vaginal rejuvenation is fine, yet its illegal to roll back the odometer on your car. Where Was 'John Mulaney: Baby J' on Netflix Filmed? Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up subtitles. Thats all. Im also an idea man. I think if it didnt keep my wife awake, I wouldnt know I had it. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up - Netflix I just think Chris Hemsworths the best-looking motherfucker. I got to go this year for the first time in my career to do stand-up in Europe, and I did shows in Amsterdam, Edinburgh, Scotland, and London. And then the whole experience just started to creep me the fuck out. Geese arent natural. 4,772, This story has been shared 3,426 times. Traditionally in American comedy clubs, theres three acts. >> julia, thank you very much for that update. JOIN NOW Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Cinemark Im like, Really? After his miner grandfather's death, Pancho travels with his wife and kids to his hometown, where chaos ensues with his relatives over the inheritance. I just told her the other day. [cheering and applause] Thats pretty slick. Okay. As Egypt's last pharaoh, Cleopatra fights to protect her throne, family and legacy in this docudrama featuring reenactments and expert interviews. Just enough to keep from bumping into shit. And I would never go spend the night at anybodys house, cause I knew Id wet the bed and theyd find out I was a bed-wetter, and so far nobody really knew but my mom and my dad, and it was just my biggest secret. Vaginal rejuvenation. And I am an idea man, too. Im like, Youre wasting our money on this stuff? But I got used to it after a while. I always let him think he wet the fucking bed. #Comics #Comedy #Jokes #Reaction #RonWhite #HappyNewYear #2021Copyright Disclaimer under section 107 of the Copyright Act of 1976, allowance is made for fair use for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, education and research.Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. It doesnt matter what it fucking looks like. Now Im not saying Ive never driven drunk, because Ive drank so much in my life, now on the back of my drivers license, theres a list of organs I need. Come on down to the Golden Corral. A chaotic intervention. Ill tell you this story. Moxy and her colorful friends leave Uglyville on a quest to find a kid to love. Ahh! In fact, if shes too clean, I salt her. In the wake of her prom scandal, Princess Margrethe longs for normalcy as she struggles to maintain her perfect facade while dealing with family drama. [high-pitched] Thats all. Downloads only available on ad-free plans. But why settle for fictional tall tales when you can sit back and enjoy Whites actual road stories. Now, I dont know whats wrong with your vagina that makes you think it needs to be rejuvenated. Somebody asked me to do this story. And not because if somebody was breaking into our house, they would make a bunch of noise and scare those people away, because you couldnt possibly wake them up. Its baby duck pussy lip taco night, and get there early, because, uh, parking. Thats all a cat has to do, is just, Pow! Theres so many dead cats on my street, it looks carpeted. Just lunch. And traditionally during the week, these three comics would go to the mall and those two comics would watch that comic spend money. Somebody was peeing on me! Thats all you need. Im not gonna do it. Always has been. Im in my car, all intimidated. So when Bill gets finished, he comes down and does a set with us and when we get done with our shows, Bill and Jeff wanna go drinking and gambling, and I want to go to a prayer meeting and a poetry reading that Id heard about. Lets do a couple of blocks. They just like to watch. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up - Netflix All right. How much is the personal massager shaped like a big black cock? I just grabbed my big black dick and left. Id help you move it out, but Im bleeding. Just lunch. You gotta kill the duck to get the duck meat. Theres an opening act, that makes between 100 and 200 a week for nine shows, the feature act which is what I was makes between 400 and 500 bucks for nine shows, and a headliner who can make absolutely anything depending upon who they are.. Thank you very much. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up - Netflix I wake up the next morning with this shit hangover, and shes already making coffee, and I wake up and she goes, Whats wrong with your hand? My hand is dark orange. We walk up to this booth that only sells dildos. I dont sleep very well. Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Why? Stay up-to-date on all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news! If You Quit Listening Ill Shut Up opens with soundbites from Whites previous specials, then we see him onstage, in a crisp suit, revealing to his fans how fame and fortune has changed him. A young man's trip to attend a funeral and a wedding on the same day leads to a journey of self-discovery when he's captivated by a chance encounter. Reunited as adults, two childhood friends fall madly in love and won't let anything not even death tear them apart, in this supernatural love story. Sure, Larry the Cable Guy is the definitive character act in the group headed by Jeff Foxworthy with Bill Engvall. We go back to OLearys Pub where this whole fucking thing started. Itll be fun. Im like, All right, lets go. And it was unbelievable, huge, all the big dildo companies were there, uh. Coming Soon. Thats all they sell. Im like, Theyre gonna know. One eyehole. I really do. No, this has to fucking happen. Oh, you can see it in their eyehole. Theyre doing whatever the fuck they want to do whenever the fuck they want to do it. Maybe one day well be the big comics in Vegas, and our names will be on those big fucking signs. Its not like if I told youthe story without saying that, youd have gone, That was very short and happened a long time ago. Id have said, Aint nobody gonna pay to watch fat midgets fuck fat midgets. Bullshit, theres a sequel. Sure, they bleed to death in the trash can when you throw them away, but theyre baby ducks. My pizza is done. our special coverage of the white house correspondents dinner starts right now neck . What? Find out where to watch on Netflix, Prime, Hulu & 40+ others What is the Spanish language plot outline for Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (2018)? Thats it. Youre not even trying? You got to unwrap a few to get the one youre looking for in a sight unseen situation. Well, Ive been here, but Ive never been here, and if I only Dead. I didnt make the drinks. Great big, old big uns. A military-trained assassin comes out of hiding to protect the daughter she's never met from ruthless criminals gunning for revenge. Apparently there were some unanswered questions in Fat Midgets Fucking Fat Midgets. Okay. In a dystopian future devastated by air pollution, the survival of humanity depends on the Black Knights and theyre far from your average deliverymen. Bain de Soleil sunless tanning lotion for dark skin only, and apparently I was getting down, cause it was on my nipples and the inside of my thigh. .08 is a revenue stream for the federal fucking government, is what .08 is. Im ready. Youd think you can tell a mans mouth from a womans mouth, but you cannot. Fuck no, you have not. And I double snotted my own fucking television. [snorting] I dont, really Ive got tons of gay friends, most of em male dancers from fucking Vegas, and theyre like, We want to get married too. Im like, Youre going to fucking hate it, but, I think the Supreme Court fucked up the best thing about being gay. Streaming Schedule, Season 5, Part 2 Debut Info, 2023 NYP Holdings, Inc. All rights reserved, Stream It Or Skip It: 'John Mulaney: Baby J' On Netflix, The Stand-Up Comedian's Post-Rehab Return To Center Stage, Stream It Or Skip It: 'Alex Borstein: Corsets & Clown Suits' On Prime Video, Mrs. Maisel's Manager Takes The Stage To Sing And Sling Jokes, Stream It Or Skip It: 'Louis C.K. And you cant un-fuck the housekeeper. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up. One [giggling] ..fucking eyehole. Remove Ads Cast Crew Details Genres Cast Ron White 63 mins More at IMDb TMDb Sign in to log, rate or review Share Ratings 1 fan 3.3 First big gig we did together was the first week in December 1996 at the MGM Grand in Vegas. Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese.Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese.Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Go see what it is. Wake up those fucking dogs you bought. She bought me a bicycle, thinking I might ride it. Id give you half my shit right now, but I dont make up the rules.. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up subtitles | 27 subtitles I know it smells like piss. And You Might Be A Redneck had been the number one-selling comedy album in the country for a year and a half. Thats an agility test, and Im not very goddamn agile, all right? I could piss like a fucking fire hydrant. Ron White-Radical Terrorist Canadian Geese Reaction: If You Quit It was juvenated, it became un-juvenated, it needs to be rejuvenated. Baby goose pussy lips makes wagyu beef [laughing] Okay. Now the reason I know this term is, I have lesbian friends too. But it sure helps to have a headliner believe in you like Foxworthy believed in White. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018| Maturity Rating:TV-MA | 1h 3m| Comedies Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Jeff? [mooing] We have a chocolate waterfall and a cotton candy machine. Because they rarely fucking die. Im a joke writer from America. Just below that it reads "Ticket Confirmation#:" followed by a 10-digit number. Im not, and Ill tell you why. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: TV-MA | 1h 3m | Stand-Up Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. We wont be able to verify your ticket today, but its great to know for the future. Charming. I got to what? I was doing a meet and greet the other day right after a show, this young guy goes, When my girlfriend comes back from vacation with her parents, Im going to ask her to marry me. By creating an account, you agree to the Theres nothing you can do about it. Theres an opening act that makes between 100 and 200 a week for nine shows, the feature act, which is what I was, makes between 400 and 500 bucks a week for nine shows, and a headliner who can make absolutely anything depending on who they are. 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Numan1235cansunar2234comtr. After Id been there for a little while, I found out there was one part of Hotel Street on Oahu that you go to, and these really cute girls that jump in your car and blow you for five dollars. But when somebody breaks into our house now, they discover that all of our things have been chewed up and pissed on. My uncle was a Baptist preacher, and I was at his little white clapboard Baptist church in a little bitty town in Texas and I was sitting Vacation bible school. Fuck that. Ron Tater Salad White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. You know what a fair drunk driving test is? Well, youre gifted. And I told this young guy, I said, Yeah, if I were you, Id go to a gay bar, let somebody fuck me in the ass and make goddamn sure Im not gay, cause it looks like theyre having more fun than anybody to me., It does too, cause we live right next to West Hollywood. Is The Nurse On Netflix Based On A True Story? Over 15 million albums, not including the millions and millions of Blue Collar albums you guys bought. I dont know how strong they were. Besides, if youre at that point in a make-out session, youre gonna do it anyway. Its just the words they say, whatever the fuck they say just cracks me the fuck up. 40 years old, never been married, which makes you a little suspicious. Sean L. McCarthy Decider. Is she there? I didnt lose my virginity until I was 18 years old, and I was in the Navy stationed in San Diego, and I lost my virginity to a prostitute in Tijuana, Mexico, who was overweight,and her teeth had no general direction or color. My friend told me the other day that he wouldnt give his wife head unless she just came out of the shower, and I told him Ill give my wife head if she just came out of the gym. 2,003, This story has been shared 1,911 times. Don't be afraid of the gay jokes, they lead to some funny moments and even funnier stories. Another service they offer at this spa is a thing called vaginal rejuvenation. And as you approach these toilets, the lid of the toilet automatically opens. And I dont need a new mugshot cause my last one was so good. [inaudible] [shouting] Whats it look like now? While I was in Canada shooting a fucking pilot! No, no, White proudly proclaims on his fifth stand-up comedy special, and first for Netflix, that at 61, hes a raging alcoholic.. But for our purposes, as well as the inner workings of how show business actually still works or doesnt pay off for most comedians, the most telling part comes when White talks money. Thats why. In the summer, I keep a bowl of limes right next to the salt shaker, and Ill just get a lime, squirt a little lime juice in there, little bit of salt, hunker down, do some pussy shots. Build a net. After dedicating years of service at a matchmaking company, Arini tries to piece together her mysterious past and memories of a former client. And I was so goddamn mad. And when I was in Edinburgh, I realized that the Scots made me laugh harder than anybody. Were just gonna have lunch. I dont have another eight goddamn dollars. And I called the front desk in a panic. I may or may not be a little drunk. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up | Radio Times And I was about 12 years old and I had gone three months without wetting the bed. I dont remember. Im like, Im through it. Or if theres some paint chips and a tray of Smile Bright. Thanks for playing along. I do it all the time. Just his torso, blood coming out of it and just Chris Hemsworth kind of I dont want to pinch his nipples or anything.

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